A few days ago, a blog post by Sarah Healy, a Baby Sleep Expert and mother of two children based in the Bay Area, caught my eye. In this post, she spoke very frankly about how her first Mother’s Day ended up being a major disappointment, while the second one was nourishing and restorative. The difference between the two can be encompassed in one word: communication.
Healy explained how she realized the importance of communicating to her spouse what kinds of things she wanted to do based on her love language. This was a way to center her wishes and desires for the day rather than those determined by a loving and well-meaning partner. Instead of a family brunch as was attempted during her first Mother’s Day, Healy got the precious gift of alone time on her second Mother’s Day.
Healy’s blog post really struck a chord with me. I am sure many of us have set expectations for birthdays or special occasions without necessarily communicating these expectations to our partners—because they should know, of course—and have ended up disappointed when things take different paths. For this reason, instead of a post featuring Mother’s Day crafts or activity ideas, I reached out to fellow members of the BPC Board to ask what their ideas of the perfect Mother’s Day would be. The responses were incredibly eye-opening and informative, and I found myself nodding along vigorously as I read through what they had to say.
"For me, the perfect Mother’s Day is a blend of snuggles and doing something that I enjoy with my kids and time to just be me without the extra tasks of taking care of everyone else. Basically, what I wish my everyday was like, but it’s not.
I don't want flowers or breakfast at a restaurant (Lord help me with three small kiddos!). I want to wake up and work out by myself, come home and enjoy some coffee and a morning walk outside with the family (by the way, in this dream, my kids are already fed and dressed and ready with diapers, and snacks and water bottles already packed as I arrive home from my workout!).
I want to get away during the day and have a glass of wine with some fellow mom friends in a backyard somewhere where kids aren't bothering us—just so we can gossip about our husbands and our kids ;) I want my husband to plan the kids’ meal schedule for the day and for us adults to get takeout that night and not do any dishes and finish the night with a cheesy romcom that usually we never watch because we can only agree on thrillers or home improvement shows."
-Erin Echter, Vice President
"The reality of being at home with two kids under 3 for the past year+ of the pandemic has meant I have hardly spent more than a few hours at a time away from my family, and most of my days are bogged down with a lot of monotonous housework that goes with keeping little people fed and clean while stuck in a house. Housework is by far my least favorite part of motherhood and the thing I find the most draining. While I like to fantasize about escaping to a luxurious hotel and enjoying a blissful night of rest and room service, a perfect Mother's Day right now would just be sleeping in and not doing any cooking or cleaning. That would be heaven. After this last year, I'm totally happy with a low key and easy day. Maybe next year we will be ready for the luxurious Mother's Day getaway!"
-Madeline E. Albright, BPC Editor
"Wait for it… I want to be mostly away from my adorable children. I want a day of freedom to do what I want. Maybe I would sleep in really late and wake up to a clean house and the kids and dad out of the house on an outside adventure, but a scrumptious morning pastry is left for me along with a chai latte or London Fog. I’d have a lazy morning and maybe do some reading in the sun in my living room. Then I would head out for an amazing in-person slow flow yoga class. Maybe a friend would come, and we would get lunch afterwards. And then we would go for a long hike with ocean views. I would head home for a shower and enjoy a yummy dinner prepared by my husband and kids, complete with delicious ice cream for dessert."
-Kiersten Robertson, Speaker Series
While I am not a Mother’s Day fairy, I hope that these sentiments can inspire you to communicate your ideas of a perfect Mother’s Day to your partner and—as Healy notes in her post—ask your partner to do the same. Enjoy your special day this Sunday, however you want to celebrate and memorialize it!
For more wisdom and expert advice, follow Sarah Healy on social media:
Next year will be the Burlingame Parents Club’s 30th anniversary!
We have been devoted to the families and the community on the Peninsula for many years. Despite changes with technology, population, and world events, we continue to serve and create opportunities for parents and children in our area. If you want to become more involved in the creation and management of those events, you can join our fantastic board!
We are comprised of parents who live on the Peninsula from South San Francisco to Redwood City. In addition, all board members maintain different roles and jobs outside of the board. We are looking for creative individuals to join for the new board year, which will start on July 1st.
There are several positions available. Please email email@example.com for more info.
We can’t wait to meet you and continue to shape our club together!
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